Becky was on her deathbed. Her husband, Jake,maintained a steady vigil by her side. As he held her fragile hand, his warm tears ran silently down his face, splashed onto her face, and roused her from her slumber. She looked up and her pale lips began to move slightly. "My darling Jake,"
she whispered. "Hush, my love," he said. "Go back to sleep. Shhh. Don't talk." But she was insistent. "Jake," she said in her tired voice. "I have to talk. I have something I must confess to you." "There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping Jake. "It's all right. Everything's all right, go to sleep now." "No, no. I must die in peace, Jake. I slept with your brother, your best friend and your father."
Jake mustered a pained smile and stroked her hand. "Hush now Becky, don't torment yourself. I know all about it," he said. "Why do you think I poisoned you?"
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MENTAL !
John and David were both patients in a mental hospital. One day, John went swimming and got into difficulties. David jumped in and saved him. The medical director came to know of this heroic act.
Doctor: We have good news for you and also bad news for you David. The good news is we are going to discharge you because you have regained your senses since you are able to jump and save another patient. The bad news is the patient whom you had saved was found hanging in the toilet.
David: Doctor, he didn't hang himself. I'm sure of that because I hung him there to dry.
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IDENTITY BLUES!
Whilst enjoying a drink with a friend one night, this guy decides to try his luck with an attractive young girl sitting alone by the bar.
To his surprise, she asks him to join her for a drink and eventually asks him if he'd like to come back to her place.
The pair jump into a taxi and as soon as they get back to her flat they dive onto the bed and spend the night hard at it. Finally, the spent young guy rolls over, pulls out a cigarette from his jeans and searches for his lighter. Unable to find it, he asks the girl if she has one at hand.
"There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replies. Opening the drawer of the bedside table, he finds a box of matches sitting
neatly on top of a framed picture of another man.
Naturally, the guy begins to worry. "Is this your husband?" he inquires nervously. "No,
silly," she replies, snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend then?" "No, don't be daft," she says, nibbling away at his ear. "Well, who is he
then?" demands the bewildered guy.
Calmly, the girl takes a match, strikes it across the side of her face and replies, ... "That's me before the operation."
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